


You're Funny Easter Bunny

by GoldsJRZGirl



Series: Gold Standard [9]
Category: Once Upon a Time (TV)
Genre: Baby Evil Queen | Regina Mills, Easter, Easter Egg Hunt, F/M, Family, Family Drama, Holidays, Humor
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-06-23
Updated: 2015-07-16
Packaged: 2018-04-05 19:28:38
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 8,507
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4192095
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GoldsJRZGirl/pseuds/GoldsJRZGirl
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It's a holiday of surprises, both good and bad, for the Gold family, when David organizes an Easter egg hunt for Regina down at the park and she gets lost in the woods, prompting Rumple to go search for her-and he finds more than he bargained for! Gold Standard AU! Baby Regal/Gold fic!</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Kitchen Disaster

_Gold's Victorian_

_Three days before Easter:_

"Auntie Belle, I wanna dye the Easter eggs my own self!" Regina Nolan declared as she sat at the Golds' kitchen table, which was covered in newspaper and had a carton of hardboiled eggs on it, and five colored cups of Paz egg dye solution in front of it, along with a wire holder to dip the egg in. A second carton was set out so you could put the finished dyed eggs in it and there were also several paint brushes and washable glitter paint in green, purple, gold, pink, blue, and red to create stunning designs on the dyed eggs when they had dried.

Belle already had several examples of the Gold children's artistry, since Henry, Alina, Grace, and their friends had come over yesterday and dyed their eggs after school. Even Jimmy had participated in this "new" activity-at least for him. His, Alina's, and Henry's eggs rested in golden holders on the mantel in the den, and Belle and Rumple had even made eggs for the twins, so they were also represented.

Rumple had read everyone the two Easter stories, one which was the traditional tale of Jesus' resurrection, and the other was the tale of the Easter bunny, which came down from Fairy Tale Land. The Easter bunny, in his fairy tale guise, was supposed to visit the houses of all the good children and leave gifts of eggs, fruit, and candy in basket upon Easter morning for the children and their families. Legend also said that if a child happened to come upon the Easter bunny, but by chance only, that one would have a special blessing bestowed upon him or her. People dyed eggs in brilliant colors to welcome the Easter bunny into their homes, as the bunny brought hope, light, renewal, and the promise of rebirth with him.

"I wanna see the Easter bunny, Unca Rumple!" Regina told him after he had finished reading the tale from Henry's fairy tale book.

"Well, imp, if you're lucky, then maybe you will," Rumple told her, and he playfully tweaked her nose. "Can you wriggle your nose like a bunny's?"

Regina shook her head, her dark hair flying about her face. She was wearing a pink top and sweater combination over her flowered white jeans and her favorite light up purple Reeboks. She was cuddled on her uncle's knee, her usual position when he read to her."No-o. How do ya, Unca Rumple?"

"Like this," he answered, then he twitched his nose back and forth just like a rabbit's.

Regina burst into giggles. "You're funny, Unca Rumple!"

"Now you try," he invited, his brown eyes sparkling.

So Regina did, scrunching up her little nose and wriggling it back and forth. "I did it!"

Henry and Alina started laughing, because the face she made was so silly and adorable.

Rumple poked her playfully in the tummy, saying in a squeaky voice, "Oh no! It's Tickle Torture Regina time!"

Regina started laughing hysterically. "No-o-o! Unca Ru-u-mple! Hahahahee!" she giggled helplessly when he tickled her with his long slender fingers.

"Do you surrender?" her uncle queried, smirking his trademark mischievous grin.

His niece gasped for breath, then she poked him back in the ribs.

"Hey!" he laughed.

"It's Giggle Me Rumple!" cackled Regina, tickling him back.

That caused the sorcerer to start laughing harder, until he said, "All right, that's enough, minx. Now we're going to kiss and make up." Then he said in his squeaky voice, "Like bunnies do!" and he twitched his nose and touched it to Regina's nose. "Bunny kisses!"

Regina grinned and gave him a "bunny kiss" back.

Jimmy watched from his seat on the recliner and muttered to Henry, "You know, sometimes I think I missed out on all these fun things growing up . . . even though I never knew they even existed till I came here. My dad never played like that with me when I was her age."

Henry nodded. "Grandpa's in a class by himself."

"You can say that again," Jimmy agreed, and he felt a bit envious of his elder half-brother, Baelfire. Then he reached out to tickle his nephew, and they rolled on the rug, wrestling and laughing.

That had been last night, and now Regina was over at her uncle's house decorating eggs with Belle for her family. She had on a pink apron so she didn't ruin her clothes, and was trying to paint the eggs with sparkly paint while Belle made an angel food cake with vanilla glaze and fresh strawberries for dessert that night. The twins were upstairs in the nursery napping, with Freya and Nala standing guard inside the room.

"Okay, Regina, you can paint six eggs yourself," Belle agreed, as she slid the angel food cake upon the cake plate covered with wax paper to cool. She would drizzle it with the glaze later and put cut up strawberries on top.

Regina happily dipped the paint brush in the paint and began painting.

Just then one of the twins began crying.

Right after that, Freya started barking, as if calling Belle to come and see what was the matter.

"Okay! I'm coming!" Belle said, and put the oven mitt on the counter and slung the Snuggli over her shoulders before going upstairs to feed the twins.

Regina continued painting the eggs, making them extra sparkly with lots of paint. She finished her six eggs in about seven minutes, then was bored. Freya, Rumple's collie puppy, who was almost forty pounds now, came and licked her arm, wagging her tail.

"Hey, Freya!" Regina greeted the pretty dog, who was colored gold, white and silver. "Lookit what I did for Easter. I dek'rated these eggs for Unca Rumple, Auntie Belle, Mommy, Daddy, and Emma and Bae!" She pointed to the row of eggs sitting in the carton.

Then she looked at the collie and had a brilliant idea. "You need to look pretty for Easter too!" she stated, then she grabbed the paint brush and some blue and purple sparkly paint.

Belle came downstairs some fifteen minutes later with Dylan in the Snuggli and holding Daria in her arms, and she called, "Regina, would you like to play with your cousins on the toy quilt for awhile? Are you done decorating your Easter eggs?"

"I's all done, Auntie Belle! An' lookit! I made you a s'prise!"

"You did?" Belle smiled as she made her way into the kitchen. "How sweet—oh my good Lord!"

The sight that greeted her eyes was a surprise all right . . .an unexpected and unwelcome one! Belle was so shocked at what she saw that she almost dropped Daria.

Her formerly neat and clean kitchen looked like a paint war had occurred in it. There was sparkly paint in all colors of the rainbow _everywhere._ On the eggs . . . on the chairs . . . on the counter . . . on the walls . . . on the fridge . . . even Freya was covered in blue and purple paint on her head and her back.

The collie looked at Belle as if to say, "Look what she's done to me!"

"Auntie Belle, do you like it? I made the kitchen pretty!"

Belle regained her voice. "Regina, what on earth have you _done_?"

**Page~*~*~*~*~*~Break**

Rumple came home for lunch and heard not just the twins crying, but Regina as well. He shut the door and walked into the kitchen, calling, "Belle? What's going on in—Jesus H. Christ!"

He gaped at the mess and then saw Regina standing in the corner, whining and squirming. "Regina, did you . . . do this?"

His kitchen looked like a bomb had hit it . . . a paint bomb.

Regina turned about, her lower lip sticking out in a classic pout. "Unca Rumple! Auntie Belle's _mean_! I wanted to s'prise her an' so I painted the kitchen pretty colors an' Freya too for Easter an' she got mad an' put me in time out for five minutes an' she smacked my butt too! It's no fair!"

He raised an eyebrow. "You're telling on your aunt?"

"Uh huh." The little imp sniffled pathetically. "Auntie Belle's mean an' nasty!"

"For punishing you when you've . . . made a _disaster_ of her kitchen?" Rumple sputtered. "I don't think so, young lady!"

"Rumple?" Belle called from the hallway.

"Belle? Are you okay? Where's the twins?"

"Upstairs, asleep. And I'm fine, I'm giving Freya a bath up here because Regina painted her too!" his wife called.

"You painted my _dog?_ " Rumple frowned.

The little moppet gave him a stubborn look. "So's she looked nice for Easter! It was s'post to be a s'prise!"

Rumple groaned. He could imagine what a surprise poor Belle had had! He pointed to the corner. "I hope you've learned your lesson, Miss Nolan. You know you're not to paint anything except paper or Easter eggs. Now turn and face the wall. You know the rules."

Sullenly, Regina turned around again. "You is mean too, Unca Rumple!"

"I know, dearie. I'm a horrible nasty beast," he sighed.

"Yeah, you is!" came the angry retort.

Rumple rolled his eyes. "Belle, how much longer does she have?"

"Three minutes," his wife called.

Rumple began to count on the oven clock.

The front door opened, and Jimmy Jones entered, tugging off his sneakers before padding into the kitchen to see if there were any snacks to eat before supper. He had been skateboarding down at the park and was starving. "Uncle Rumple, do we have any Rice Krispie treats?" He walked into the kitchen, which still resembled the aftermath of paint ball war. "Holy shit! What happened in here?"

Rumple craned his head around and gave the teenager a Look. "Hey! Watch your mouth, Mr. Jones! Before you're eating soap and I put _you_ in the other corner next to her."

Jimmy's eyes widened. "Whoa, Uncle Rumple! Relax! It was an observation! Jeez!"

Rumple glared at him and said, "And you can observe the wall, if you don't quit sassing me, boy!"

"I . . . I wasn't . . ." Jimmy protested, then subsided at another knowing glare. "Okay . . . maybe I was . . . a little . . . but you don't need to jump all over my butt . . ."

Regina turned around then and smirked, saying in a sing-song treble, "Jimmy's in trouble! Jimmy's in trouble!"

Jimmy scowled and snapped, "Well, at least I ain't an evil bitch, Your Majesty!"

"Ooh! You said a really bad word!" gasped the toddler.

"Regina, turn around and think about what you did," Gold ordered, totally out of patience now. "Mr. Jones, come with me. _Now!_ " His tone brooked no disobedience.

"But . . . Uncle Rumple . . .!" Then he swallowed the rest of what he was going to say and followed the older man into the bathroom down the hall.

While his young charge sputtered in the soap he'd conjured, Rumple quietly and thoroughly tore strips out of him. "I cannot believe you said that, Jimmy! You know perfectly well she doesn't know who she is . . . and that's how we prefer it at this time! You know that! You also know better than to let a three-year-old get to you like that . . . or at least I thought you did."

Jimmy nodded, his eyes pleading.

"Rinse your mouth out," he sighed.

Jimmy did so. "I shouldn't have said that." He made a face. "Yuck!"

"Next time watch your mouth. Now come with me."

A rather disgruntled and ashamed pirate followed Gold back to the kitchen, and he went to go towards the pantry, when Gold's voice stopped him. "Hold it. I'm not finished yet. Corner, now." He pointed to the opposite corner where Regina was standing.

Jimmy's jaw dropped. "You can't . . . you've gotta be kidding!"

Rumple put his hands on his hips and frowned sharply. "Mr. Jones, what did I say before?"

"You said . . . but . . .that's not fair . . ."

"Isn't it? Mr. Jones, what would your father do if you disobeyed him on board his ship?"

"Uh . . . he'd make me holystone the deck, probably. Or . . . or mend sails or scrub the bilge," the other admitted.

"Now who's the captain in this house?"

"You are, sir."

"Right. Now stick your nose over there. Five minutes," Gold ordered. Then he turned to Regina, who was staring at Jimmy, her mouth partially open. "You're not done with time out yet, Regina, so face the wall. And no comments or else it'll be an extra five!"

"'Kay, Unca Rumple," she muttered and obeyed, turning around.

"Hardass!" Jimmy groused as he obeyed as well.

" _Excuse_ me?" Rumple demanded sharply. "You want another fifteen and a second session with liquid Dawn this time?"

A horrified Jimmy shook his head. "Sorry, sir. I'll shut up now."

"Wise decision," Rumple remarked. Then he waved a hand and the kitchen was restored to its former pristine condition. He checked the clock and was just about to tell Regina to come out when Bae came into the kitchen.

"Hey, Mama, I finished planting the tulips in your planter for Easter," her son announced. "Is there anything else you'd like me to do—Jesus H. Christ!" he exclaimed upon coming into the kitchen and seeing _both_ Regina and Jimmy in the corner.

Then Regina piped up, without turning around, "You better watch you mouth, Baelfire, b'fore Unca Rumple puts _you_ in the corner next!"

Jimmy put his hand over his mouth, his shoulders shaking.

Bae rolled his eyes. "Yeah, right."

Rumple turned and gave his eldest one of his Looks.

Bae paled and muttered, "Sorry, Papa."

Then he coughed and asked, "Why in the world are they there anyway?"

"Regina, you can come out," Gold said, and then he hugged his niece. "Next time behave. And tell your brother here what you did to get in trouble."

While Bae listened to Regina telling him how she had painted the entire kitchen and Freya, Rumple went up the stairs to see how Belle was doing with Freya's bath.

Bae looked at his little brother. "So what'd _you_ do?"

"Me? Nothing!" Jimmy protested. Then he chuckled. "Okay. I swore at Regina and I was a smartass to him."

"Ah. That'll do it then," Bae said knowingly.

Regina nodded in agreement.

"Uh, Bae? Did he do this to you too?" Jimmy asked, shifting slightly.

"That'd be a yes," his brother sighed. "Too many times to count."

"You is s'post to stay still. Or else he's gonna add another minute," Regina instructed him.

Jimmy muttered something that probably would have earned him a second mouthwashing had Gold been there to hear it, and froze in place.

"This sucks!"

"Well, next time watch what you say," Rumple said, coming back into the kitchen with a fluffy clean Freya at his heels and Daria in the Snuggli. "You're done, come out."

Jimmy did and he and Regina exchanged rueful glances with each other. Both had learned something today—to never cross Rumple, though it was lesson they would probably have to have repeated, given who they were.

"Sorry, imp," Jimmy apologized to her.

"I forgive you," she said magnanimously. "You wanna help me plant some petunias?"

"Me, plant _flowers_?" Jimmy gaped at her. "But that's women's—" he halted as Bae glared at him warningly. "Uh, sure, kid. Where are we planting them?"

"Outside, on the patio," Regina said, then she dragged him over to the sliding glass door and opened it, calling, "C'mon, Freya!"

As the teenager, toddler, and collie ran outside, Bae turned to Rumple and said, "See, Papa. He can be taught . . . it just takes the patience of a saint!"

"Which I'm not," Rumple chuckled ruefully.

"But you try, dearie," Belle chuckled and hugged her husband. With the way it was going, this holiday was going to be another milestone in their family. Little did she know, her prediction would come true . . . in more ways than one.


	2. 4AM Phone Call

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> an early morning phone call sends Rumple into a panic and Regina needs to learn an important lesson

Sometimes Mayor David Nolan came up with some very cute ideas, and other times . . . not so good ones. Such as that Easter, when he thought up the brilliant idea of having a kids Easter egg hunt in the park. The egg hunt was open to all the children aged two to six, and then Baelfire was running the scavenger egg hunt for the older kids, ages seven to thirteen. Bae and Emma had spent all of last night thinking up and writing down clues for the scavenger hunt and then Emma posted them all over downtown, starting at Fire Mountain, Bae's dojo.

Meanwhile, David was hosting the little kids' Easter egg hunt in the park, and had Rumple, Jimmy, and Snow help him hide all the colored plastic eggs. Each egg had one of three things inside it—chocolate, jelly beans, or a small toy. There was one really big golden egg, and inside that was a fifty dollar bill and a certificate for a week's worth of dessert from Granny's diner. Gold had donated that, and Snow and David had put in the prizes for the other eggs.

Regina was so excited about the egg hunt that she kept waking up her parents at the crack of dawn that morning, asking them if they could go over to the park yet. Finally, after the fourth time David heard a little voice in his ear asking, "Daddy, is it time to go to the park yet?" he locked the door so they could get some sleep.

An impatient Regina tried the doorknob and found it wouldn't budge. "Hey!" the toddler howled. "Whatcha lockin' the door for?"

"Mommy and Daddy are sleeping!" David groaned. "So you go back to sleep too until we tell you it's time to get up."

"Aww! But I'm not tired no more!" Regina said grouchily. "It's morning time!"

"Actually, no it's not," her father refuted. "It's still too early to wake up."

"Then why's the sun up?"

"Because Maine's the Land of the Midnight Sun, like Alaska," he sighed. "Now please just go back to sleep, Regina!"

The toddler scowled at the door. Then she stomped back in her room, bored. After playing tea party with her Barbies for a while, she went and tried the door again. Snores came from behind it.

"Rats!" she sighed, and went to pet Princess, her Dalmatian puppy, who was lying in her kennel. "They ain't getting' up an' this bites the big one!" she told the dog. Her little mouth pursed. "I know! I's callin' Unca Rumple!"

Over at Gold's salmon pink Victorian, Belle had just finished feeding the twins and fallen back to sleep, while Rumple changed them, played with them a bit, and then put them in the cradle, which he rocked gently with magic while sipping a cup of orange Pekoe tea. The babies were nearly asleep when the shrill ringing of the phone startled them awake.

Rumple groaned and muttered a swear word under his breath at whoever was calling him at this Godforsaken hour of the morning, it was 4:30 AM! He summoned the cordless from its base in the hallway and answered it to accompaniment of twin howls from Dylan and Daria.

"Hello? This better be an emergency—" he began irritably.

"Unca Rumple! I can't wake up Mommy an' Daddy!" Regina yelled into the phone.

"You can't what?" Rumple cried, alarmed.

"They won't get up, an' Princess needs to go out 'fore she pees in her kennel and I'm bored," Regina recited her list of grievances.

"They won't get up?" Rumple repeated, alarmed. "You've tried waking them?"

"Uh huh. Lots of times."

Now he was very concerned. Had something happened to them? "Okay, scamp. You just wait there . . . and don't touch _anything_ , you hear? Wait right there and I'll be over in a few minutes. Okay, Regina?"

"Okay, Unca Rumple!" the toddler sounded delighted.

Gold hung up the phone, then went to wake his eldest daughter, Alina, who was nearly twelve, so she could watch the twins, who had stopped bawling so much when he cooed at them and were slowly falling back to sleep, while he teleported over to the Charmings' loft.

A sleepy Alina crawled into bed with Belle, and rocked the cradle using her magic, murmuring, "I hope nothing's wrong with Snow and David, Papa."

"I hope not either. Well, I'd better get over there and see what's wrong," her father said.

Alina giggled softly. "Umm . . . Papa? Get dressed first, you're still in your pajamas."

"Oh . . . err . .. right." He waved a hand and his pants and shirt flowed onto him.

"And your shoes," Alina reminded him.

A snap of his fingers replaced his fuzzy slippers with his Gucci loafers. "Thanks, Alina. My brain's still half-asleep."

"It's okay," she grinned at him.

"Be back soon," he said, then he transported away in a cloud of purple smoke.

Alina continued rocking the cradle and singing a soft lullaby, "Hush little babies, don't say a word, Papa's gonna buy you a mockingbird . . ."

**Page~*~*~*~*~Break**

"Regina, where are you?" Rumple called as soon as he appeared in the loft kitchen.

"Unca Rumple, I's in here!" she called, and ran into the little kitchen from the den, still in her purple nightie with pink slippers on, her hair straggling all over. She slid across the linoleum floor and grabbed him around the legs, hugging him.

"Hey, baby girl, what's going on?" he asked, picking her up. "How'd you get my number?"

"Uh, you're number 3 on the phone," she replied, kissing his cheek.

"I'm number 3?" he repeated, before he registered that Snow and David must have him on speed dial.

"Yeah. Daddy's work is number 1 and Emma and Bae are number 2," recited the toddler proudly.

"I see," Gold nodded. "Okay, now where's Mommy and Daddy?"

"They's in their room. With the door locked. And Daddy's snoring loud enough to cut a tree down," Regina informed him.

Rumple laughed a bit at that description. Then it hit him. "Wait a minute . . . you mean they're not . . . Regina, I thought they were sick or . . . or hurt or something . . ." He frowned at the child.

"Umm . . . well . . ." she looked away from the disapproval written on his face. "They ain't sick . . . they locked me outta their room 'cause I kept wakin' them up and . . . umm . . ." she bit her lip guiltily.

"And what else? No fibbing now," he reminded her.

She sighed gustily, "Daddy tol' me to back to sleep but I wasn't tired no more an' I was bored so I called you."

Rumple ground his teeth together. He was exhausted and couldn't believe he'd been forced to go out at 4:30 AM because those two yahoos couldn't be bothered to get up and take care of their hyperactive toddler, who got into everything imaginable unless watched like a hawk!

"I wanted somebody to play with me," she said pathetically, her lower lip sticking out in a pout.

"Regina—" he shook his head, knowing it wasn't entirely fair to place the blame on a three-year-old, but he also knew he had to impress upon her the importance of only calling his house at certain times unless it was an emergency.

"Are you mad, Unca Rumple?" Regina asked, giving him a woebegone look that could have melted a stone golem into a puddle.

"I'm not mad . . . not at you at any rate . . ." _I'm mad as blazes at your parents though!_ "I'm kind of annoyed though, little minx."

"'Cuz I woke you up?"

"You not only woke me up, you woke up Dylan and Daria too," he told her. "And then I had to wake up Alina to watch them while I came over here, so . . . that's not really a good thing, considering it wasn't an emergency. You remember my house rule, right? No calling my house after 10:30 through 7 AM unless it's an emergency."

"Uh . . . yeah. I forgot. I was bored!"

"Being bored isn't a good enough reason, dearie," he remonstrated with her. "I don't get a lot of sleep as it is right now, with my babies being awake at all hours of the night, so . . .you need to understand what's a _real_ emergency and what isn't."

"How do I know?"

"Okay . . . let me see if I can put it so you'll remember . . ." Rumple said, considering what he could tell her to bring home his point in a way so she'd remember and understand. Finally, he had an idea, due to a similar thing Alina used to do as a child, when she called his shop for every little thing when Alice's back was turned as a four-year-old. "All right, I'm going to tell you a story, Regina. Let's go over here to the couch."

He walked into the den, casting an irritated glance at the bedroom door, beyond which loud snores could be heard. _Must be nice, huh? What do you sleep with, a damn bear, Snow White?_ He sat down on the couch with his niece on his lap. "Now, I need you to—"

"—zip my lips an' put my lissening ears on!" she recited the familiar injunction, then mimed zipping her lips shut and tugging at her ears.

"Very good! I'm proud you remembered that," he praised her. "All right, now this is the story of The Little Boy Who Cried Wolf . . ." and he began to tell her the old fairy tale of the little boy who thought it was funny to cry "Wolf!" when he was out in the field watching the villagers' flock of sheep just to see them all come running. " . . . and even though he got scolded and spanked for dragging them all out of their homes for nothing, that little boy refused to learn his lesson. Until one day a wolf _really_ did come out of the forest and into the meadow . . . and it really did eat some of the spring lambs . . .and this time when the little boy cried, "Wolf, wolf, WOLF!" Rumple made his voice high and squeaky, " . . . nobody came, because they all thought it was another one of his pranks."

Regina gasped. "So the . . . the baby lambs _died_?"

"I'm afraid so, dearie," he nodded sadly.

"But Unca Rumple! That's . . . _awful_!" she sniffled.

"Yes, it's very awful," he agreed solemnly. "But that's what happens when you tell fibs and keep on playing pranks like that, because then when something serious happens . . . nobody believes you. That's why you should never ever _ever_ call me so early in the morning unless there's a real emergency, young lady."

"Unca Rumple, what's a real 'mergency?"

"An emergency is when something really bad happens with Mommy and Daddy. Like they fall down and can't get up, or they've cut themselves and are bleeding really badly, or they're turning blue and choking or gasping and can't talk, or they're so sick they can't get out of bed, or you can't wake them up no matter how much you scream at them, or there's a fire, or a flood, or a robber comes and breaks into your house. _That's_ a real emergency, dearie and _that's_ when you call me at 4 in the morning. Understand? _Not_ because you're bored and you want me to play with you."

She nodded slowly. "Uh huh. I sorry."

"Good. Though your parents are going to be sorrier," he muttered. "Now, what's my house rule?"

"Uh . . . no callin' you after 10:30PM to 7 AM unless Mommy and Daddy are dying or sumpin' like that!" she recited.

"Brilliant!" he applauded. "Because you don't want to be like the little boy that cried wolf, do you?"

"Nuh-uh!" she shook her head rapidly.

"That's my girl!" he kissed her on the forehead, satisfied that his lesson had been taken to heart. "Okay, now we're going to wake up Mommy and Daddy so we can tell them what you've learned." _And not so incidentally, I can give them a piece of my mind!_

"How we gonna do that, Unca Rumple?" she asked curiously.

"You'll see," he said, and then he rose and went over to the locked bedroom door. He set Regina down, saying, "Now, whatever you see me do, I want you to be quiet as a tiny teeny mouse, and just watch, okay?"

"'Kay!" she agreed, nearly jumping up and down. "Wake 'em up, Unca Rumple!"

He smirked at her devilishly. "With pleasure, milady!" Then he altered his voice to one that was deeper and more authoritarian sounding in an eyeblink. He pounded hard on the bedroom door and yelled, "Open up! _Police!_ " He banged on the door in a rapid-fire tattoo of knocks. "Do you know where your child is?"

Then he unlocked the door with a wave of his hand and opened it.

"Charming? Who's banging on the door?" Snow yawned sleepily.

"Huh? I dunno, Snow!" Charming moaned, his head under the pillow.

"I thought I heard somebody say _police_!" Snow argued.

"You were dreaming, honey. Go back to sleep," mumbled her husband.

 _Not on your life, dearie!_ Rumple snorted and entered the bedroom where the two sleeping beauties were dozing beneath their wedding ring quilt. He cleared his throat slightly, then began to sing, using his high annoying Dark One voice.

" _It's time to rise and shine, rise and shine, and say hello to Mr. Sun! The day has begun, so rise and shine, sleepyheads, and **get your asses out of bed and take care of your damned kid!"**_

The last part he bellowed in a parade ground shout that would have put a drill sergeant to shame.

Snow screamed and sat up, clutching the sheet to her, her eyes wide and scared. "Oh my God! _Rumple?"_

David fell out of bed, he was so startled. He sat there blinking foolishly at his "brother" before climbing to his feet and growling, "Hey, buddy, what's the big idea?"

Rumple crossed his arms over his chest and snapped, "Now that you're _finally_ awake, let me tell you how your daughter called _my_ house at 4:30 in the morning and woke up _my_ babies _and_ me just as we were all falling asleep, and told me she couldn't wake you up so I came over here thinking you'd had a heart attack or something only to find out that you'd locked her out of your room and she was _bored_!"

"Uh . . .aww hell . . . Regina, what were you thinking?" Charming half-scolded.

"That you needed to get up, Daddy!"

"Oh God! Rumple, we're so sorry . . .!" Snow began apologetically.

"Sorry doesn't replace my lost sleep, dearie!" he pointed out testily. Snow looked sheepish. "Not to mention the fact that you left your three-year-old unattended while you were dreaming. Anything could have happened, you know Regina!"

"I told her to go to bed!" Charming objected.

Rumple rolled his eyes. "And does Regina do everything you tell her? Not on your life! You should have gotten up and put her in bed and made sure she was asleep before you went back to sleep, Nolan!"

"Hey, I was tired!"

"So was I!" Rumple shot back. "But I got my ass up when she called anyhow!"

"Hey, I never thought she'd call your house," David cried.

"Well, she did, and disrupted my whole family's sleep," an annoyed Rumple stated.

"Rumple, we're sorry," Snow repeated. "And he's right, David. One of should have gotten up with her. We're lucky she didn't set the house on fire or something."

"Exactly, dearie!" Rumple nodded.

Beside him, Regina copied his stance, crossing her arms and glowering at her parents.

David sighed, rubbing the sleep from his eyes. "Okay, I'm sorry about that, Rumple. I should have made sure she went to bed but I was just so sick of her bugging me about the Easter egg hunt that I just . . .thought the best way to shut her up was to lock the door."

Rumple shook his head. "That was stupid, David. Anything could have happened to her—she could have run away or gotten hurt and then you'd have never forgiven yourself."

Charming grimaced. "Rub it in, why don't you?"

The sorcerer scowled. "Don't be an idiot! You're lucky she called me and not 911! Then you'd have been fined for negligence or whatever you call it these days, Nolan! And Emma would have raised holy hell!" He pointed to Snow. "You have another one on the way, and what are you going to do when _that_ one wakes up in the middle of the night crying? Roll over and go back to sleep?"

"Like hell," Snow asserted. "That's when I kick him out of bed."

Charming held up his hands. "Okay! Okay! _Mea culpa!_ I promise I'll never do it again."

"That's good," Rumple said with an evil grin. "Because next time I'll wake you up with a fire hose, Nolan!"

"Yeah, Daddy!" put in his daughter. "Cuz Unca Rumple kicks everybody's butt!"

"You'd better believe it, dearie!"

"Rumple, thanks for looking out for her," Snow said gratefully. She pulled on a robe and came and hugged her in-law. "Come on, Regina, we might as well start making breakfast. What do you want to eat?"

"Panny cakes!" the little girl yelled. "With smiley faces! And sausage!" She looked over at Rumple. "Ya want some, Unca Rumple?"

"No thanks, I'm going home and going to bed for another three hours, dearie," he told her. "But thank you for offering."

"Me too," David began.

"Oh, no, you're not, Mr. Nolan!" Snow growled. "You do and I'll tell Rumple to get the hose!"

"I don't believe this!" grumbled her husband balefully.

"Welcome to the world of you're married with children, now deal with it," Rumple put in saucily, then he waved, hugged Regina and Snow, and disappeared.

"Pain-in-the-butt!" David muttered. "He always has to have the last word."

"Come on, David. I'm not making breakfast by myself," Snow said, then she pulled him to his feet.

"Well, if you're making pancakes, let's make chocolate chip."

"No, Daddy! I want cinnamon with applesauce!" argued Regina.

"Chocolate chip's better."

"No way! Cinnamon apple!"

"Chocolate chip whips cinnamon apple's butt."

"Does not."

"Does too."

"Does _not_!"

"Does too! Don't argue with me!"

"You're wrong!"

"Am not!"

"Are too!"

Snow gaped at them. Then she put her hands on her hips and cried, "Quit bickering! Before _I_ call 911 . . . and tell them to put me in a crazy ward because you've driven me insane! I feel like I have two children, not one, and I must have been nuts to get pregnant again."

David gave her puppydog eyes. "Umm . . . sorry . . ."

"Oh, just get in the kitchen and set the table," she ordered.

"Mommy, what kind of panny cakes we havin'?"

"Vanilla," she answered. "You can put some cinnamon and applesauce on the top of it," Snow replied. "And David, you can put chocolate chips."

"Yay!" Regina clapped her hands, then ran to get the forks.

**Page~*~*~*~*~Break**

The Easter egg hunt started promptly at 11 AM. All the parents with small children in Storybrooke gathered in the park with their little ones, and Jimmy handed each child a basket to put their eggs in. The child could keep any eggs they found and if they didn't find one, David had a big chocolate bunny for the child to have instead, so everyone got something and nobody went home crying.

The hunt spanned the length of the park and all the children ran around looking for eggs everywhere—under the swings, in the wooden castle, in the grass, by the seesaw, and in the bushes. Some eggs were easy to spot, others were more difficult. Children cheered and clapped happily when they found one of the brightly colored eggs, and sulked when another got there before them.

Regina was dressed in a lovely silver and black velvet dress with flowers on it and she found two eggs right off the bat, by running up the slide and seeing them nestled in the corner on the top of it.

Squealing, "I found some, Mommy!" she slid down the other side and ran off to hunt for more.

Snow clapped her hands and then turned to speak to Blue, who had come up to her and asked her how she was feeling and when the baby was due.

When Snow turned around some three minutes later, she didn't see Regina anywhere. "Regina? Now where did she go?"

Blue huffed. "That little brat's always getting into mischief. Must take after her uncle . . . Rumplestiltskin!"

Snow ignored the fairy's snide comments, too focused upon finding her daughter to pay her any heed. Though had she heard them she would have told Blue off. "Regina? Honey, where are you?"

She went across the lawn, looking frantically for her child.

But Regina was not among the children on the lawn. "David!" she called, running up to her husband. "I can't find Regina anywhere!"

"Huh? What do you mean? I just saw her over there," he pointed to a spot next to a tree. "Where'd she go?"

"That's what I'd like to know!" Snow's voice rose in a prelude to hysteria.

"Okay, calm down. We'll find her. Maybe she needed the potty?"

"David, she would have come to me," Snow refuted. "It's like she . . . vanished!"

"Relax! Let's call Emma," he soothed. Then he dialed their daughter's number.

Snow bit her lip. While she knew Emma would do everything she could to find Regina, she also knew there was one man who could find the little girl even quicker. She pulled out her cell and called Rumple.

**Page~*~*~*~*~Break**

Meanwhile, Regina skipped happily down a dirt path she had found, looking under all the rocks an bushes for eggs, humming happily. She was sure to find some pretty ones here, where no other kids were.

But then she tripped and fell, scraping her knee a little.

Picking herself up, she sniffled and whimpered, "Oww!" Then she went to look for her mommy. Only to find Snow was gone and she was alone.

She turned to go back the way she had come . . . and discovered she didn't remember which way to go. She was lost.

Tears gathered in her eyes, but she continued on resolutely. She looked at the three eggs in her basket. She didn't even care about the egg hunt anymore. She just wanted her mother.

Crying softy, she continued down the trail, deeper into the forest.


	3. An Extraordinary Discovery

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Regina and Rumple discover something wonderful

Emma arrived in her Bug and started canvassing the area, asking all the kids and the parents in the vicinity if they had seen Regina recently. Meanwhile, Snow went partway into the woods, trying to follow her daughter's trail, but soon lost it as the child's footprints were so light they didn't hold at all well on the dry soil. Frustrated and angry at herself for being unable to find her little girl, Snow came back to stand next to David and she said agitatedly, "What if we can't find her, David?"

David looked at her and said calmly, "Snow, we always find each other."

"Now's not the time for your infernal optimism, dammit! Our baby's lost and this was _your_ idea!" she growled.

"Hey, how was I supposed to know she'd wander off?" he countered.

"Because she's Regina, dearie, and she usually does," Gold put in, appearing beside them.

"Rumple! Thank goodness you're here!" Snow exclaimed. "Regina's gone missing and my _asshole_ husband thinks if he hopes hard enough, she'll be found instead of doing something!"

"Oh, now I'm an asshole?" David snapped. "Why didn't you keep a better eye on her?"

"Don't you blame this on _me_!" Snow glared at him.

"Before you two tear out each other's throats I want to know one thing," Rumple interjected. "Which way did she go?"

"That way . . . I think . . ." Snow pointed off towards the woods.

"Thanks, dearie. I'll try and find her while you two play the Blame Game," Rumple said, a trifle sarcastically, before he cast a locator spell and followed it into the woods, moving like a shadow into the trees.

"I'm going to go talk to Emma," David sighed and then moved across the lawn to speak to his eldest daughter.

Snow turned and found Blue at her elbow. "Blue, can you . . err . . . search for her too? You can fly, you can do a sweep in the air."

"Of course I can, Snow," Blue said affirmatively. "And I'm sure I'll find her before the imp does."

"Blue, this isn't a grudge match between you and Rumple. I just want my baby back," Snow told her.

"And I'll be the one to do it," Blue said smugly. Then she shrank into her small size and flew off.

**Page~*~*~*Break**

Meanwhile, Regina wandered deeper into the woods, crying in fits and starts. She wanted to be brave, like Emma, Belle, and her mommy, but she was frightened of the trees and how tall they were, and the way there were strange noises in the brush around her. Sunlight filtered through the treetops and speckled the path she was on, but it seemed quite dark and scary to the toddler, who was used to the streets and lawns of Storybrooke. Dragging her Easter basket, she ran down the path towards a streak of sunshine.

She thought maybe she had found the park again when she emerged into a glade of bright sun and a green meadow with pretty little pink, white, purple, and gold flowers. "Pretty!" she gasped, then she ran forward to pick some, kneeling on the grass to gather them. She turned to put them in her basket, and then suddenly realized she couldn't show them to her mommy or aunt or anyone.

She sat down on the ground and sniffled. "Mommy! I want my mommy! Or Emma! Or Unca Rumple!" Tears trickled down her face.

As she went to wipe them away, something caught her eye.

It was a rabbit, hopping in the grass, close by her. It had white fur and beautiful eyes the color of violets. And it seemed to glow.

Regina's eyes widened as she saw . . . wings protruding from its shoulders, which it fluttered in the air as it hopped, its nose twitching. "Oh! You're funny, Easter bunny!" she giggled, unable to help herself.

The bunny suddenly turned and hopped over to her.

Regina smiled and twitched her nose like her uncle Rumple had taught her. "Hey, Easter bunny! You wanna give me bunny kisses? Unca Rumple showed me how."

The angel bunny hopped into the child's lap and stood up and wriggled its nose at her.

Regina smiled and twitched her nose in return and touched it to the bunny's.

"Bunny kisses!"

Her small hands stroked the bunny's silky fur and brushed the wings, which were a sparkling pure white with silver edging.

The angel bunny curled up in Regina's lap serenely.

"Aww! I love you, Easter bunny!" she cooed.

Just then Rumple emerged from the trees. "Regina, dearie, I've come to take you home," he said, noting with relief that his niece seemed unharmed.

Then his eyes widened as he saw what else was there with Regina.

His hand went to his mouth and he halted in shock. "Oh . . ."

"Unca Rumple! Lookit! The Easter bunny came to me!"

"Regina . . ." Rumple began, unsure how to articulate his observation. "That's . . . an Angelique, dearie. She's very special . . ."

He came closer, peering at the magical creature nestled in Regina's lap.

He knelt a few feet away, so as not to startle the winged bunny. He slid his phone out of his pocket and snapped a few quick photos for otherwise no one would believe him when he told them what had gone on in the forest. An Angelique was among the purest of beings, sent from on high as a messenger of love and hope, and legend said it only appeared to those who were pure in heart and innocent, like little children, and only on certain days of the year.

This was one of those days, it seemed.

"Unca Rumple, d'you want to pet her?"

"Dearie, I don't think . . .I mean . . ." he stammered, thinking, _me, the former Dark One, touch an Angelique? Even though a seraph has vouched for me twice, I am not worthy to touch such a one . . ._

"Yes you can, Unca Rumple!" insisted the toddler. "She told me so."

"You . . . can hear her?"

Regina nodded. "Uh huh. She has a voice like a whisper. Pet her!"

Rumple reached out tentatively and his fingers brushed the angel bunny's fur. To his shock, the Angelique nuzzled his hand, and he felt as if he had been given a great gift. He shut his eyes, letting the peaceful serenity the Angelique radiated flow through him, and he wept for joy.

"Unca Rumple, don't cry," Regina said, concerned. "Are you sad?"

"No . . . no . . . these are tears of joy . . ." he said, and quickly wiped them away.

"Why's the Easter bunny gots wings?"

"Well, she's a special bunny, as I said, and that's how she was made. I think . . . I think she came here to . . . bless you, since this is what an Angelique does . . ."

"And it would never choose to bless anyone like _you_ , Rumplestiltskin, who are tainted by your dark magic!" shrilled the Blue Fairy. She hovered over them and was shocked by what she saw below her.

"I'm no longer the Dark One, you blue bug!" sneered Rumple. "And if I was as bad as you seem to think, an Angelique would never come near me."

Regina glared up at the fairy. "The Easter bunny loves Unca Rumple! And you're a dumbass fairy!"

An incensed Blue flew at Regina, her wand out, and before Rumple could do anything, the Angelique did, rearing up and fluttering into the air, and swatting at the fairy with a paw.

Blue tumbled backwards, trying to avoid the paw that almost knocked her for a loop, while an astonished Gold watched and Regina squealed, "Get her, Easter bunny!"

It was like watching a lamb suddenly grow fangs and attack a wolf.

Blue squeaked then and suddenly blurred and was gone.

As soon as the fairy had retreated, the Angelique settled to the ground, and it was glowing slightly as it touched noses first with Regina and then with Rumple.

Rumple felt serenity and peace such as he had never known flow over him, and he bowed his head.

_My blessing go with thee, Rumplestiltskin Gold. Innocence lost can be regained._

Then with that final gesture, the Angelique fluttered up into the sky and vanished.

"Bye, Easter bunny!" Regina called, waving. "Aww! Why'd it hafta go?"

"Because she needed to find other children to bless today," Rumple answered.

Regina pouted. "Aww! I wanted to play with her. This sucks!"

Rumple sighed. "And do you know what sucks even more? Now I have to punish you for your filthy mouth, young lady."

Regina shook her head. "No! Unca Rumple!"

"I'm afraid so. Because you know better than to use that language," he reprimanded, thinking ruefully, _no matter how much I agree with that assessment!_ Then he waved his hand and made the little imp taste soap for about twenty seconds, though neither Regina or Jimmy realized that it was only the _taste_ and not actual soap in their mouths.

Afterwards he hugged a teary contrite little girl and said, "I hope you've learned your lesson, and don't make me do this again."

She nodded against his shoulder. "That was 'sgusting!"

"Next time don't use that word and you won't need to taste soap," he reminded her.

"I won't," she promised, then she kissed him on the cheek and said, "I love you, Unca Rumple."

"Love you too, dearie."

"I can't wait to tell Mommy and Daddy about the Easter bunny!" Regina prattled, her usual intrepid self again now that she had been forgiven her transgressions. "I didn't find the golden egg though."

"But you found something much better," Rumple murmured. "You found the true meaning of Easter—hope, love, and renewal."

"Yup! And the angel bunny kissed me!" Regina giggled. "And you too!"

Rumple nodded, still in awe of that exchange. Then he picked up the basket and together they came out of the woods.

**Page~*~*~*~*~Break**

An ecstatic Regina ran across the lawn to hug her parents. "Mommy! Daddy! I gots lost in the woods, but Unca Rumple found me an' we met the Easter bunny!"

"You what?" David repeated.

"We met the _real_ Easter bunny! She's an angel bunny with wings an' she let me hold her and pet her and she kissed my nose!"

Snow gasped. "David! She . . . met an Angelique! Here?"

"Uh huh! And she kissed Unca Rumple too," Regina told her. "Then the stupid Blue Bug came an' yelled nasty things at Unca Rumple and the angel bunny knocked her away and I called that meanie fairy a bad word an' Unca Rumple made me eat soap," she finished, grimacing.

Snow shook her head as Rumple came up to them with Regina's basket. "Regina, I'm very disappointed in you. You know better than to use bad language."

"Look who's talking!" her husband pointed out. He looked speculatively at Rumple. "Got a bar of soap, Rumple?"

Snow turned her head and gave him a warning Look. "Try it, Nolan, and you'll be living on the couch!"

"Never mind, dear," muttered David hastily, while Rumple burst out laughing.

"Thanks for finding her, Rumple!" both parents said gratefully.

Once the golden egg had been found by a lucky little boy named Roland, and Bae had called David to tell him his scavenger hunt was over as well, and Alina had solved the final riddle and won the grand prize of a book called _1001 Brain Puzzlers_ and a solid chocolate Easter bunny, all the Golds went back to the Victorian to celebrate Easter, along with Alice, Jeff, and Grace.

After dinner, which included a glazed honey ham, leg of lamb with roasted garlic, scalloped potatoes, creamed spinach, green beans almondine, a "nesting" Easter sweet bread, which was an egg bread braided into a nest with colored hardboiled eggs in the middle and sprinkled lightly with different colored sprinkles, and a special treat sent over from Nonna Tessaro—pastries from Ferrara's, a ricotta cheesecake, and a whole _pizza chena_ -an Italian Easter pie made with ricotta, provolone, three eggs, and every kind of Italian meat you could think of, including pepperoni, cappacola, prosciutto, and Genoa salami, the adults watched the kids play outside with Grace's bunny, and Rumple showed them the pictures he'd taken of the Angelique on his phone.

"I guess it just goes to show you that even wicked sorcerers like me can get a second chance," Rumple said to Belle, as he held his infant daughter in his arms.

"You were never wicked, sweetheart, you were cursed," Belle corrected. "And now that you're not, everyone can see what I did so long ago, the good man beneath the beast. Happy Easter, Rumple!" Then she kissed him.

"Happy Easter, dearie!" he grinned, and kissed her back, then he chuckled as Daria gave a little whimper of protest. "Sorry, Papa didn't mean to ignore you, pretty baby." Then he made silly faces at his daughter until she cooed and giggled up at him, celebrating the best blessing of all, his family.


End file.
